~ Passive Aggressive ~
by BlindzonElyzon

Disclaimers:  How many creative ways are there to say this?  MCA /Universal and Ren Pics are the rightful owners of Xena, Warrior Princess and its characters.  The bards are the ones who continue to breathe life into these characters during the other six days and 23 hours of the week.  

Subtext Warning:  No doubt, it’s here.  Consider yourself warned.  

Acknowledgments:  Kam, as always, thanks for taking your many skills and applying them to my writings.  You’re swell.  

Special Notes:  This story was headed in a whole other direction until I read Advocates and Fanatics first episode of the Castaway 2000 series.  They stole my idea.  Technically I guess its not stealing if they had it posted first and I was still in the process of writing, but honest to Pete, I didn’t know they had written it.  So after my initial disappointment, I swerved this sucker in the direction it ended up in.  By the way, you really should go read the Castaway series, it’s great!  

See Sam (not my computer this time) if you had just returned the whip when I said to, this idea may have never entered my mind.  <g>  Claire.  Just had to say your name so you didn’t think I was neglecting you.  

Feedback:  Yes please, I love getting it.  BlindzonElyzon@aol.com


Imagine this, a glorious sun filled sky with a gentle ocean breeze blowing softly over the shore sands.  The sounds of the waves as they crest and then  fall onto the jutting rock formations dividing the beach.  The wind carries on it the mist of the oceans spray and the light fragrance of the salty air and new day.  

It is a wondrous place.  (Sighing contentedly)

Mixed in the sounds of the surf and the gulls calling overhead, is the distant sound of laughter.  Women laughing.  

One would not have to look to closely to see that these women are more than friends.  The subtle touches as they speak, the comfort in being in each other’s company, the ease in the way they communicate.  They are in love.  

The contrasts between the two women are astounding and could easily be compared to night and day, but at this moment, this is not necessary.  The only thing of importance is that they seem to complete one another, separate they are two incredible parts, and together they are amazingly whole.  

As they walk, their voices carry on the breeze and their conversation is easily overheard.  Shall we listen in?  



“There is something I need to talk to you about but I’m not real sure how to mention it.”  The smaller woman looked down at the sand in front of her, rather than the casual glances at her partner she had been exchanging.  

The tall, bronzed skin woman, stopped dead in her tracks.  The mood that had been so light only seconds ago, now darkened. Believing the worst was to come and hesitating, she spoke, “Gabrielle, you know I’ll listen to you without judgment.  I only ask that you be honest with me.” Noting the woman’s sullen mood, the pert young woman, reached out a reassuring hand and placed it lovingly on her shoulder .  

“Xena, would you stop making everything such a big deal.  I just wanted to discuss something… well, personal with you.”  


“Yeah, personal, and it’s a little embarrassing to be bringing it up.”  

Xena’s expression had been transformed from sullen to that of curiosity. Raising her brow slightly, she inquired, “Okay, what is it?”  

The small woman dug her toe into the sand, whether it was for stalling purposes or looking for a way to escape, she went at it for a while until a nice sized hole was dug.  

Patience having run out, the warrior grabbed the arm of her companion and prompted, “Gabrielle…what?”  

Fidgeting and having difficulty making eye contact, Gabrielle looked around nervously, making sure no one was around to hear her. Like there would be.  They hadn’t seen another living soul that day, but Gabrielle knew as soon as she got started talking, someone would be bounding by and declare some emergency.  Still not spotting anyone as far as the eye could see, she began.  

“Okay, how do I put this?  You know when we…umm, ya know, have a few moments of privacy?”

A knowing smile crossed Xena’s lips but she thought she’d watch her partner squirm a little.  She was cute when she squirmed.  

“Like now?”  

“No, well I guess so, but more private and…intimate?”  

The pink blush was rising up Gabrielle’s neck and beginning to reach her face.  Her other toe began working at the sand below, soon making a companion hole for the first.  

Acting casually, Xena replied, “Oh, you mean when we’re…” she winked at the younger woman whose pale skin color was now turning a brighter shade of red, “…doing laundry?”  

Gabrielle stared at her obnoxious partner with a dumbfounded look, thinking to herself that she really couldn’t be this dense before she noticed the amused expression dancing in Xena’s eyes.  Flabbergasted, she yelled, “No!  Like when we are making love…in the midst of heated sex…in the throws of passion!”  

“Oh, then.”  Xena’s amusement had broken into a full-faced grin.  “What about it?”  

The now irritated blonde felt no need to hold back, and forgetting her earlier shyness, she blurted out, “Do ya think, maybe just once in a while, that I could be the dominatrix and you be the slave girl??”  

Xena didn’t know how to react to this question, so she did what came naturally, she laughed out loud.  

The laughter was not a mere tee-hee or even a simple chuckle.  Instead it was the kind of laughter that required one’s mid-section to be held and inspired the expression ‘side splitting’.  There was nothing feminine or delicate about the laugh, it bellowed out and rolled down the beach being replayed in echoes.  It was actually getting to the point of being unbecoming as tears rolled down the jovial woman’s face as well as other body fluids from other orifices.  

Gabrielle stood there, more than a little indignant and postured herself to indicate this to her companion.  She stood as tall as her petite frame would allow, hands firmly planted on her hips, and wore a mask of stern disapproval and annoyance.  

After what had seemed all too long, and even overkill, Gabrielle decided to take matters into her own hand.  Literally.  She grabbed the weakened warrior’s wrist and tugged at it, turning the normally more powerful woman around.  With free hand, she took a mighty swing and brought it down hard on the leather-clad buttocks of one now stunned warrior.  

The connection not only elicited a solid SMACK! sound, but also a somewhat unexpected response from the recipient.  Xena extricated herself from the now loose grasp of the woman who was in the process of rethinking what she had just done.  Turning abruptly and bringing herself to tower over the now even smaller woman, she looked deeply into the green fear-filled eyes before her.  A look like none Gabrielle had never seen was chiseled onto her features.  

Gabrielle gulped.  Just when she thought she couldn’t take another moment of this torturous silence, Xena broke it.  

“Uh, Gabrielle.  I didn’t know you had it in you…wanna go back to the camp and” she waggled her eyebrows playfully, “discover what other skills you have acquired?”  

Momentarily unsure, Gabrielle snapped out of it and decided to press her luck.  With an air of superiority, she pointed commandingly in the direction of their camp.  

Before bowing her head in acknowledgment, Xena snickered at the haughty demeanor the mini-dom was trying to display.  

Gabrielle noted the noise and poutingly said, “If you’re not going to play the game right…”  

“Okay, okay. Whatever you command I will do…my Queen.”  

Gabrielle was more than satisfied and resumed her regal stance.  Xena straightened only slightly and leaned in to kiss the unsuspecting ruler, and quickly moved toward the previously indicated direction.  

Quite satisfied with self and the situation, the small woman bounded after the quickly departing warrior.  As she caught up to her, an excited question was voiced, “Hey Xena, can I borrow your whip, huh, can I?  I’ll be careful with it this time.”  

The reply couldn’t be heard as the ocean breeze carried the sound of their voices away.  But judging by the youthful leap and the small woman running ahead, I would have to gather the answer was at least a definite maybe.