~ I’ve Got
Sex On My Mind, And Since I'm No Good At Writing About It , This Is The Best I
Can Do.... ~
by
BlindzonElyzon
Disclaimers: It’s all mine, the whole lot!! They
think they can get away with it, but they can’t for I am here to state the
truth…(allowing for dramatic pause)…okay, never mind. My grandiose moment has
passed and I’m not much in the mood for being sued. So those guys at
MCA/Universal and Ren Pics are the rightful owners of XWP and the characters
therein. This story is mine though. So there!
Subtext Warning: If I am blatantly talking about
two women in love and they are actively acting upon their love, would a subtext
warning really apply? Those of you who aren’t allowed either by law, age, or
closed mindedness to read such things, move along now, there’s nothing to see
here.
Acknowledgements: Kam, besides being tolerant of my
ever-loving harassment, I am extremely appreciative of your help and
friendship. So when are we going for those beers neither of us likes?
Special Notes: Bear with me a second. (No Claire,
not this kind of bare, it’s not a cue to take off your clothes!) (Well, unless
you want to?? Grrr!) Okay, any resemblance to real life people of the Xenaverse
was purely on purpose. I hope you enjoy the tribute.
I wish I knew what got into
me to write this, because I’d have it removed! <g Maybe it was the influence
of Kam’s ‘Mustache’. Or it could have been recent around the world reports from
a wandering bard. Possibly it was due to the influence of the Guard’s list and
it’s clever (but now illegal, right LJ) banter. But I think the true blame must
fall on one person and she knows who she is. For all the innuendo, subtext, and
general naughtiness of your wicked , wicked emails I thank you Claire. Okay, I
must confess there was none of that stuff but she sure does make me laugh a
lot. I’m proud to be your stalker. <g
Feedback: Feedback: Yes, my
ego needs it! BlindzonElyzon@aol.com
Where
shall I begin? Tradition would have me start at the beginning, but as I look at
it, I would lose you all to disinterest before any excitement should arrive,
for the beginning is rather dull. I cannot fly to the end of this encounter,
for you would become greatly confused, not knowing where our two champions have
been or why they did what they did. So it seems obvious to me at this time that
I must start in the middle, post boredom and pre-confusion. Yes, that sounds
about right, that will be our starting point.
I think that is when Xena and Gabrielle met up with Hermaphaditis, or
was it more like got an education about…wait, I don’t want to get ahead of
myself here. One thing at a time.
Having just saved another innocuous village from another demanding and
over zealous warlord, our two ladies decided they needed a break. Even heroes
need a vacation, or if they can’t get away, they at least need a respite from
the rescuing business.
Gabrielle had decided that a short excursion into the country would be
far more practical and certainly more pleasant than letting Xena plan another
vacation. Just between you and me, she told me that if she had to make one more
stop visiting one more battlefield or warlord’s Hall of Fame, she would have
induced her own coma and blissfully spent the rest of her life with Najara. Oh,
by the way, if you want to read more about that eventful trip, my fellow bards
Lariel and Temora have chronicled those travels in a most splendid and
entertaining manner.
You must pardon the fact that I tend to digress as I have done at this
time. Do try to keep up or read about every other paragraph and you will do
fine.
Let’s see, where was I? Ah yes, the country. You may be asking yourself,
why the country; aren’t they always in the country? Well, yes. They do spend a
great deal of time there, but the key here, it wasn’t in a needy village and
therefore, they were off duty. So to speak.
There is nothing remarkable to be told as to their actual location. There
was present your standard amount of trees, indigenous animals, and of course
the nearby stream for fishing, bathing, and....er, um, other recreational
activities.
Again let me divert for a moment. If you are hoping for more details and
explicit description of the afore mentioned recreational activities, you will
be sorely disappointed. I am not that kind of bard! And I suck at the writing
of it. I can suggest some of my counterparts who have a certain, shall we say,
ability for such story telling, but you will have to ask me in private.
Back to the point. Assuming I have one that is.
The night had passed without incident. I am not going to count the
slight strained groin muscle Gabrielle injured when attempting to be …creative.
And I ain’t talking about her barding. Needless to say, Xena, being the more
than skilled healer, promptly tended to her companion’s needs, which led to
more of that stuff I already said I wasn’t going to talk about.
Come to think of it, nothing much happened that day either. I know, I
know, I said I was going to skip the boring part, that’s what I’m doing. Hold
on to your frocks and let me tell the story my way, okay? Sheesh, this
generation wants everything right now. In my day, we let a bard tell their tale
as they saw fit, sometimes it took a few days to finish a good story. You kids…
I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Sorry.
I believe it was that evening, or maybe the next. Guess it doesn’t
really matter one way or the other. That these two wonderfully in love, and
very horny, partners solitude was interrupted. They didn’t know it at first,
being otherwise preoccupied at the time. Even Xena’s keen sense of surroundings
was already overly stimulated.
These two sure are amorous aren’t they? Wish I had it so good, but no
such luck. There was that girl once who was double jointed... Now, talk about a
neat trick, she could twist herself so that… I’m thinking I’m a little
preoccupied myself.
Anyway, Xena and Gabrielle were lost in the heat of the moment and since
they were out in the middle of nowhere, well, there was no reason for
inhibitions. Nearby villagers still tell of the haunting sounds of moaning and
such from that night. The fear filled peasants just attributed it to the legend
of the woods and what lurked there. By the way, did you know that Gabrielle has
quite an octave range?
Now even though they weren’t from that particular part of Greece, word
of the insidious inhabitant had spread far and wide. How these two never heard
of the mysterious inhabitant of these woods, well, it’s beyond me. Many a tale
was told about a creature who resided alone there and how it sought out young
lovers. What it did after it had sought them out varied from household to
household all depending on the age, sex, and promiscuity of the child in
residence.
Basically the creature’s legend had gone beyond mere myth status and was
now used as a tool in sex prevention among young adults. Incidentally, the
number of immaculate conceptions dropped remarkably since the implementation of
this program. We won’t go into the statistics on livestock abuse; it’s not
particularly relevant at this juncture and a little too disturbing.
Ahem.
So, our lovers had rocked each other’s world and now lay there embracing
and spent. Breathing returning to normal and once again with most senses
functioning, Xena became aware that they were being watched. Without
hesitation, she unceremoniously dumped the unsuspecting bard to the ground as
she leapt to her feet.
For such a small woman, Gabrielle made quite a loud thud. Furthermore,
she uttered a number of unseemly expletives that are not in keeping with her
wholesome image, but did show off her creative word use and phrasing as a bard.
That girl has the mouth of a sailor when riled or suddenly startled while
basking in the afterglow.
Xena ignored the incensed bard and postured herself in full warrior
mode, on alert and ready to rumble. In all her natural glory, she surveyed the
surrounding landscape sensing, but not seeing the hidden intruder. In one swift
movement, she drew her sword and called out to the darkness demanding the
unwanted visitor to show itself.
Slowly an indistinguishable form emerged from the blackness. The object
was cloaked in dark cloth, its appearance still hidden from view. It continued
to advance on Xena who was poised in readiness. Forgetting her nakedness, Xena
instructed the being in front of her to reveal itself.
A low, raspy, almost inaudible noise was heard, but not comprehended by
the waiting warrior. The sound grew in intensity, becoming almost gruesome as
the obviously mucus induced, raspy gurgles and violent wheezing and coughing
soon followed. Unable to stop herself, Xena stepped back and away to a safer
distance from the slurping noises.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the creature had regained
control and no longer convulsed. Having caught its breath, it straightened and
slowly removed the cloak covering its form.
Now I’m not going to say our champion was fearful of the creatures
revelation, I’m no fool and don’t want her to sue me for slander. I will say
that those present felt a certain amount of apprehension. Yeah, that should be
safe enough to say, if not, I’ll be seeking out Advocate’s services. Are you in
the book?
Xena let out a horror-filled gasp. Gabrielle, being modest in nature and
a quick dresser, had thrown her sexy little outfit on. Grrr! Hubba hubba! Murphy,
I hope you don’t mind me borrowing some of your exclamations it, just seemed so
appropo.
Oh yeah, a small shriek(more from what she thought she was going to see
than what she actually saw,) escaped from Gabrielle’s lips.
The flickering light of the fire illuminated a person oozing and
dripping with a slime substance off their face. Xena was repulsed and Gabrielle
gagged.
Then, before our two lovers knew what hit them, (literally,) the person
sneezed mightily, causing the oozing substance to become projectiles. Having
the quicker reflexes, Xena ducked in time and managed to have most of the slime
fly over her. However, the still gagging Gabrielle was not as fortunate and
became glazed with mucus. The thoroughly disgusted bard wretched to the point
of …
(I’m feeling a little nauseous myself so I’m just going to leave it
right there and let you all imagine as much detail as you are comfortable with.
)
It was then that the person spoke for the first time. The words were
barely comprehensible through the gelatinous material covering its mouth. The
words sounded something like this, "Ooh soozme. Ium zo norri" and
more substance drained from her nasal area.
Well, our little hurling bard had regained control, for the most part,
and stood there, arms outstretched, not wanting to touch her self. A mix of
emotion ran across Xena’s face, finally landing on mild amusement, but knowing
it would be best to keep it to herself, she faced the original owner of the
slime. She addressed the being in front of her with curiosity and question in
her voice, asking the vile creature who it was and what it wanted.
Another wretched gurgling sound emanated from the creature before it
began to speak. Between sputtering and wheezing, the being informed Xena and
Gabrielle that its name was Hermaphaditis and that it heard these cries in the
woods and became concerned that someone was in need of help. Furthermore it
explained that no one was ever in the woods after dark, and when it heard these
obviously pained cries, it knew it had to act.
Now our little bard with the big mouth was no longer suffering from a
stomach wanting to be free of its contents, instead she was blushing very
brightly and noticeably despite the darkness.
Xena had relaxed with this new information and realization that the
petite partner was the culprit for Hermaphaditis’ concerns. She slipped out of
warrior mode and into her leathers as she assessed she was more in danger of
catching a chill than harm from the oozing presence before her.
Gabrielle, having overcome her embarrassment, had her own questions to
ask. There were many, but I will only repeat the most relevant ones. Maybe it
was because she was caught so off-guard, or maybe it was due to her current
disgusting predicament, but all tact and decorum of the usually sensitive bard
just flew out the…well, it was gone. Boldly and without hesitation she asked
Hermaphaditis what in Tartarus was wrong with …and then another thought dawned
on her. What is Hermaphaditis?? It was one of those genderless names. Just like
Sam Ruskin, but don’t worry, I’ve already cleared up that question with my own
probing curiosity.
Once Gabrielle was able to get past the slimy substance dripping from Hermaphaditis’
facial orifices, she noted that she wasn’t sure she was addressing a man or a
woman. Hermaphaditis’ appearance was rather nondescript, having short brownish
hair, brown matching eyes, and a somewhat stocky build and only slightly taller
than the bard herself. The clothing worn were sensible for living in the woods
but provided no more clues as to the gender of its wearer. The cloak covered an unremarkable brown
cloth shirt and trousers, with matching brown boots. Everything looked rather
dull, particularly to Gabrielle’s newfound sense of fashion.
Finding her reserve of lost
manners, Gabrielle replaced the perplexed look that had suddenly appeared on
her countenance and put on a polite smile. Hemming and hawing, she was about to
ask Hermaphaditis, as coyly as possible, if there was someone waiting at home
for…er, them?
Hermaphaditis only replied
stuffily ‘no’ to the inquiry.
About to ask another hopefully
more informative question, Xena interrupted with one of her own. The warrior
had been watching the green fluids with transfixed intrigue, surprising herself
with the curiosity of such a gross exhibition. Unable to restrain her curiosity
any further she asked if Hermaphaditis had a nasty cold or something.
Hermaphaditis again indicated
no, but this time by shaking the fluid-filled head. Of course, the substance
splattered onto the ground in small puddles of slime. Hermaphaditis then spoke,
stating that she suffered greatly from the dreaded Boogieman’s disease.
Acknowledging the statement by
taking another step back, and then seeing she was closer to her snot covered
companion, she took another step away from Gabrielle.
Xena had heard tales told of
the Boogieman. That it found its prey at night and all traces of its victims
would disappear except for the remaining deposit of ooze found in the missing
person’s place. Once again, she lifted her sword in a defensive posture,
flicking off the coagulated gel from the glinting metal.
Gabrielle heard little of what
was being said, otherwise preoccupied with the dripping matter and the
reflexive retching that continued. However her ears perked up at the mention of
the boogieman and her cognitive wheels processed the information. She believed
this small piece of information contained what she needed to determine the
gender identity of Hermaphaditis.
Okay, okay, time to recap a
little. Xena, big bad warrior hero, feeling threatened by what she believed to
be the boogieman standing in front of her. Gabrielle, the more responsive and
sensitive type, acutely aware of the gender identity issue before her. So
what’s this say about our two ladies? Xena views everything as a possible fight
to be guarded against and Gabrielle is projecting, I mean, is more in tune with
the person.
What do you mean so what? Hey,
I thought you all might be interested in knowing a little more about what makes
our girls tick. I could get all clinical on you with diagnosis, summarizations
of their psychosocial profiles, but I thought you’d might find that a tad
boring. Not to mention, this is my off time and supposed hobby, so I’m trying
to stay away from that psychobabble bull**** (censored since I had nothing in
my disclaimers about vulgar language.)
Now Gabrielle’s curiosity was
getting the best of her and overcame her utter disgust, so she moved closer to
speak more casually with Hermaphaditis. However in doing so, being unaccustomed
to slimal coverings, she stepped forward and slipped rather ungracefully toward
her soon to be resting place, atop Hermaphaditis. The sound of the fall? Oh,
and the position she ended up in…eesh! I don’t think either was prepared for
such intimacy. The fall resembled less of a thud and was more of a squishing
variety, as Gabrielle landed.
Despite her total mortification,
Gabrielle could also be considered an opportunist and took advantage to answer
a few pressing questions.
For the first time in her
life, Xena hesitated to react. She saw it happening, Gabrielle starting to move
and then crashing down upon Hermaphaditis. She even began to intercept the bard
from her eventual outcome, but she stopped herself from doing anything. Whether
it was the fact that she knew she would have slipped right off Gabrielle due to
the putrid mixture of mucus and digestional juices or her own latent fear of
the boogieman from the tales told to her as a child, Xena remained inanimate.
The once fearless warrior looked on in horror as the love of her life appeared
to be groping the vile creature beneath her.
Also for the first time in her
life, the appalled warrior screamed like a girl calling out Gabrielle’s name in
horror.
Well, obviously this caught
Gabrielle’s attention. Such a nancy boy reaction from the normally stoic
demeaned woman. Do you think it’s alright saying Xena was ‘nancy boy-like’
since she is the more butch of the two? Those of you who don’t mind keep
reading while I and the others have a little talk about the facts of lesbian
life.
The bard, now brought to her
senses, stopped what she had been doing and slipped off the now groaning and
slightly aroused Hermaphaditis. She slithered away partly from embarrassment
from what she had been searching for and partly in astonishment in what she had
found. Stammering in disbelief she demanded to know what sort of creature
Hermaphaditis really was.
Shaken out of the state of
disbelief of the exhibition that was just displayed before her and once again
finding her proper voice, Xena declared Hermaphaditis to be the dreaded and
most dangerous Boogieman. She, of course struck her warrior- read-
for-action-in-case-there-is-trouble pose and maneuvered herself closer but not
too close to Gabrielle.
Hermaphaditis sat up and
cleared her throat, hocking up a good one and not so discreetly spitting it
out. Straightening the rumpled and askew clothes that Gabrielle so kindly
rearranged, she shook her head and quietly began to speak of the fate that had
befallen her.
Hermaphaditis told the two
onlookers of how she was a precocious child and living in the nearby village
was far to dull for her naturally inquisitive mind. Her curiosity grew as she
reached adolescence but her parents were far to straight-laced to answer the
questions that were stirred up by her increasing hormones. Like the other
pubescents of her village she had watched the farm animals in fascination but
this only led to more questions. Knowing her parents backwards way, she did not
dare to mention any of her concerns so took it upon herself to discover the
answers.
Sneaking from her house, she
would head to the nearest home, which was conveniently occupied by a newly
joined couple. It was there where her real education began for the two were
quite taken with each other and rather imaginative in the process of taking
each other too.
Well, young Hermaphaditis’
fascination continued to grow and she knew there had to be more out there to
see. So what started out as an innocent seeking of knowledge became an obsessed
need to leer at the varied and sundry ways of doing the deed.
You guys know I’m not talking
about churning butter or anything so mundane as that, right? I want to make
sure I haven’t lost you with my poetic phrasing for Copulating, making love,
doing the wild thing, getting’ jiggy wid it, doing the horizontal mambo, riding
the pony, bumping uglies (Murph, I’m sure!), and of course not to leave out
good ole f*******! (Damn those censors!)
Are we all together now? Good.
On one fateful night,
Hermaphaditis was cutting through the woods wanting to go to the good neighbor
Jones’ home. She had been all around the village but there was nothing like
keeping up with the Jones’ and their escapades. When she heard the luring
sounds of bawdy love making echoing in the woods, she could not resist and had
to seek them out.
Creeping through the brush she
came upon the quite vocal and rather acrobatic makers of love. I think the more
accurate would be makers of lust, but I didn’t want to sound lewd.
The site before her very eyes
was nothing like she had ever seen and the young Hermaphaditis was so
completely captivated that she forgot herself. Wandering forth from the cover
of darkness she moved in closer to get a better seat and take notes. Since the
participants were otherwise busied and had their hands full, they took no
notice of her, until…
I have mentioned she was
sneaking out at night, right? Did I also say it was early spring and therefore
somewhat chilly. In case I didn’t, it was.
Our little Hermaphaditis had
been out several nights in a row and the exposure to the elements had taken
their toll for she had begun to catch a head cold. Suddenly and without
warning, a sneeze escaped her. No little sneeze, I might add. It was the kind
that echoed through the woods and had she been better mannered she would have
covered her face, but she did not and spittle sprayed over the formerly
engrossed but now thoroughly grossed displayers of desire.
Hold it! I’m thinking I either
need a break or should end this tale as soon as possible. Even that last bit of
description is pushing the envelop just a little too far for me.
Three sets of eyes cast
annoyed glares directly at the now red-faced Hermaphaditis who was basically
caught with her pants down. Not literally, it’s a figure of speech, you know. I
could tell you that story but it will have to be another time because I want to
finish up this one, have some lunch, and fold my laundry. Being a bard doesn’t
pay too well does it, so I still have to take care of everything myself. How’d
that Missy Good get discovered anyway? I want to be doing this and making some
money too. Anybody know her agent?
Let me just veer myself back
to the story now.
A sheepish smile…er, I’ll just
leave farm animal descriptions out of this. How about, an embarrassed
expression accompanied Hermaphaditis’ red-face and she began to stammer an
apology for the interruption when the greatly irritated and obvious woman in
charge…what’s her name? I’m so bad with names. I think it was…Claire, yeah
that’s it.
Anyway, Claire was a little
ticked off for she was caught with her pants down, this time literally, as were
the other members of this…party. Now if you think I’m going to reveal the
others in this group, you are about to be disappointed. They aren’t ready to be
outted and it wouldn’t be fair for me to do the outing. But I will say Claire
sure has great taste. Grrrr again!
Claire was so miffed that
anyone dare disturb her own personal naked Olympics that she cursed the
unwanted intruder. Yep she cursed at her but she also cursed her. Summoning up
her gods-given gifts, she zapped the bewildered Hermaphaditis and cursed her by
amplifying what was already there in her mind.
Poor Hermaphaditis had a
couple of thoughts running through her mind, one being she hoped her cold
wouldn’t get too bad, and the other had more to do with what she was watching.
The intertwined bodies, the not knowing where one part of anatomy was going to
end up and with whom, and the pure amazement of it all. The young girl went
through such a change of life at that moment.
Her body began to morph; the
breast that had begun to develop in puberty blossomed big time. But the truly
astounding change snuck up on her and again I’m talking literally. She felt the
changes and wondered what the heck could be going on between her legs, not
exactly there, up a little…I’m messing this up. I’ll cut to the chase; a very
big and manly penis had sprouted from her loins and was at full attention.
Suddenly front heavy,
Hermaphaditis stumbled slightly forward and it then she noticed she was
dripping. Get your mind out of the gutter! She dripped from her nose not
elsewhere! The drip turned into a dribble and eventually an out and out
flooding of nasal matter. She was a mess.
Before she could beg for
forgiveness and the return to her normal self, Claire and her entourage left,
mumbling something about finding the virgins and goats. I’m not exactly sure
what that is all about though and really has nothing to do with the story so
I’ll leave well enough alone.
Alrighty, let’s re-introduce
our champions.
Gabrielle sat there unmoving.
The gelatinous material had hardened during the listening of Hermaphaditis, and
she was now encased in a mucus tomb. This also kept her from talking, finally a
way to keep her quiet!
Xena no longer viewed the
pathetic wretch as the Boogieman, instead seeing her as a semi-innocent victim
of a sex crazed bully. Now she had to help Hermaphaditis but she still wouldn’t
go anywhere near her, but inquired as to where she might find this vixen
Claire.
Several hours later, after a
long soaking to loosen Gabrielle’s entrapment and a quick ride over on Argo,
the defenders of the innocent, Xena and Gabrielle, arrived at Claire’s hut.
That Hermaphaditis sure gives good directions.
Xena politely knocked at the
door but there was no replied answer. Not wanting to waste the trip, she
thought to check out back and quickly came across one very tall, dark haired,
and naked woman doing something or other. Xena wasn’t paying attention to what
the woman was actually involved in, more to what she was getting an eyeful of.
Gabrielle couldn’t help but notice the agaped expression of her warrior
companion and the lengthy leering that she was doing and brought the drooling
woman’s attention back to the mission with a sound smack to her stomach.
The ‘oofing’ that escaped
Xena’s lips gained the attention of the naked woman, who was nonplussed by the
unexpected visitors and her current state of unclcladdedness. She turned and
simply asked with a funny little accent as to how she could be of assistance.
Gabrielle told me the woman
had a most radiant smile, but it’s kind of funny how that bit of description
was left out by Xena. Matter of fact, she couldn’t remember her eye color
either. Hmm, that’s not much like her; she usually is dead on with details like
that. It must have been an off day for her or something.
Seeing that Xena still hadn’t
caught her breath, Gabrielle decided to take the lead and asked if the woman
knew where they could find the fiendish Claire.
A look of shock and pall
replaced the formerly friendly countenance,and she spoke with hesitation. The
woman claimed to be Claire but clearly stated she was no fiend. A nudist maybe,
but certainly not a fiend.
Perplexed by this information,
Gabrielle asked another question and it went something like this. "You’re
Claire?"
With a type of endearing
innocence in her eyes, Claire re-affirmed her answer. It was then that Xena
came back on track and took over the interrogating duties. I guess we now know
why Gabrielle doesn’t get to ask a lot of the questions and I bet you always
thought it was ‘cause Xena did the pinch thing.
Without having to resort to
such methods, Xena was able to find out that Claire was in that vicinity on the
night in question. In a comforting manner she continued to press Claire. It was
far more comforting than Gabrielle was comfortable with and with a loving and
reminding smack to Xena’s head with her staff, (don’t worry it wasn’t all that
hard a hit), Gabrielle made her point.
Claire finally broke down and
admitted the truth after seeing Gabrielle whacking Xena. She did not want to
fall victim to such violence and confessed her most horrid secret. Once a month
she suffered the wrath of her own body and its wanting needs. Try as she might,
she had no control over her desires of the flesh and until satiated in
carnality, she was helpless to resist. Interference brought about an
unfathomable consequence, which was also beyond her control.
Xena moved forward to console
the naked and crying woman, but came to a quick halt as a staff whooshed in
front of her. Keeping her proper distance, she reassured Claire she knew of
herbs that could help with such afflictions and bloating too. Xena told her
that she had heard of this malady and that it was called ‘Pervasive Mandatory
Sex’ or ‘PMS’’ for short.
Through her sniffles and
tears, Claire began to smile again with the hope of a treatment and the idea of
living a normal life. Effusively she thanked her new savior and being so
enthusiastic in the doing so, leapt into the unexpectant arms of the also now
grateful warrior. Noting the length of time it was taking Xena to separate
herself from Claire’s clutching, Gabrielle loudly cleared her throat and tapped
impatiently on the bare shoulder of the excited woman.
Seeing that Xena was incapable
of speech, Gabrielle told the adoring Claire that there was something she could
do for them. Not even bothering to find out what it was, Claire agreed to do
whatever she had to. At that moment Xena let out a groan, which resulted in
another swat from the bard and the not so subtle reminder of Hermaphaditis’
condition.
Xena fixed Claire all up with
the necessary herbs and Gabrielle insisted she go throw something on before
they headed back to where they left Hermaphaditis. They found her gurgling in
her own grotesque way awaiting their return.
Upon seeing Claire,
Hermaphaditis shook in fear, which is not a good thing for someone already
generating so much ooze. Not seeing how it was possible, Xena observed that
even more of the mucus substance drained from the quaking onlooker. Reassuring
her from, afar not wanting to end up like she had already been, Gabrielle told
Hermaphaditis of Claire’s affliction and that she had agreed to un-curse her.
The uncursing process took a
little longer than expected due to Claire’s convulsive retching every time she
looked at Hermaphaditis. But eventually it was done and low and behold, when
things returned too normal, Hermaphaditis turned out to be quite the babe. And
another whooshing staff kept Xena at bay.
Despite the herbs already
consumed and the fact that it wasn’t even that time of the month for Claire,
she felt that all too familiar desire begin to grow when she looked into
Hermaphaditis’ eyes. And I’ll have to say ditto for Hermaphaditis when she
returned the gaze. Claire suggested Hermaphaditis take advantage of the nearby
stream to wash up and being the friendly girl that she is, she even offered to
give her a hand.
Xena and Gabrielle just stood
there watching as the two infatuated women walked away lost in each other’s
worlds. No thanks, no good-byes, they just left.
3 Months Later…
Having learned their lesson
from their last getaway, our two lovers felt the need for another break but
surely weren’t going to make the same mistake twice. Instead, they decided to
visit an old friend who had an open door policy. If he opened the door, they
would invite themselves in.
Standing on the front porch,
Xena politely knocked. Only seconds later the door swung open and the cheerful
face of Kamoraskan greeted them. It had been a long time tradition in his
family to welcome all visitors from far and wide and he upheld the tradition
with pride. Gesturing excitedly for them to come in, Kam invited his friends to
stay and visit as long as they were able.
Happily they entered Kam’s domicile
and knew there they would find the privacy they needed. He’s hard of hearing,
don’t you know.
Finally, I didn’t think I was going to make it, but here it is.
The End.